What is Dirty Talk?
While being called a nasty name would be offensive in most cases, it can be arousing under certain circumstances. Dirty talk involves discussing sexual acts with your partner in an explicit, stimulating manner before or during sexual activity.
The Power of Dirty Talk
Although nothing is inherently untidy about it, the term “dirty talk” is associated with the explicit nature of the dialogue involved. For many individuals, it is an effective way to express desires in bed and experiment with new things. According to a recent study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, individuals who experience sexual communication apprehension (SCA) tend to derive less satisfaction from sex. Therefore, open communication about sexual desires with your partner can lead to a more fulfilling sex life.
Jessica Drake, a porn star and educator, suggests that dirty talk can also play a role in the consent process. By discussing acts sensually beforehand, partners can ensure mutual agreement before proceeding.
How To Talk Dirty
Dirty talk does not come naturally to everyone and can be awkward if you are not comfortable using potentially crude language or expressing your desires in bed. However, it is a skill that can be developed. Tina Horn, an expert on dirty talk, recommends initiating the conversation with phrases such as “I want you” or “I love it when you…” to convey appreciation for your partner's efforts. She also suggests a list of words to become comfortable using in bed, such as “come,” “fuck,” “bang,” “suck,” “hard,” “wet,” “yes,” “no,” “now,” “slower,” “faster,” “dick,” “clit,” “mouth,” and “ass.”
Variations in Dirty Talk
In today's digital age, much communication occurs virtually through texting, Skype, and social media. The guidelines for dirty talk in person generally apply to sexting as well, which involves sending provocative messages or images via your phone. Regarding texting, it is important to be deliberate and methodical, as nonverbal cues cannot be observed. Best-selling romance novelist Samantha Beck advises being specific in your messages, as clarity is key in conveying your desires.
In conclusion, dirty talk can be a powerful tool for enhancing sexual communication and intimacy between partners. By expressing desires openly and appreciating each other's efforts, individuals can experience a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life.