What is Asexuality?
Asexuality means you might not feel sexually attracted to others, or you might feel this attraction very rarely. Some asexual people, or “aces,” don't seek out sexual relationships but can still experience other types of attraction.
These include feelings of romance, appreciation for someone's looks, wanting to cuddle, desiring friendship, or seeking emotional connections.
Asexuality varies a lot from one person to another. Some might feel sexual attraction only in deep connections, while others might not feel it at all but still choose to have sexual relationships for various reasons.
Key Facts
Asexual people might still have a sex drive and can experience sexual desire, which is different from sexual attraction. This means an ace can have the urge for sexual pleasure without necessarily finding someone sexually appealing.
Many asexual people engage in masturbation or sex for reasons like satisfying their libido, wanting children, making their partner happy, or enjoying the physical and sensual pleasures of sex.
Asexual individuals often desire and have romantic relationships. They might be romantically attracted to any gender and seek romantic connections with both asexual and non-asexual people.
Relationships can vary, and some asexual people are fine with sexual intimacy, depending on their personal comfort and desires.
Sexuality is Diverse
Viewing sexuality as a spectrum helps us understand that asexuality also varies widely. Some people hardly ever feel sexual attraction, known as graysexual, sitting somewhere between asexual and sexual on the spectrum.
It's crucial to distinguish between sexual and romantic desires, as one can desire romantic companionship without a sexual component and vice versa.
Some asexual people prefer non-romantic relationships. They might not be interested in romance but still value deeply committed relationships, often called queerplatonic.
People's capacity for attraction can change over time, and this fluidity is a natural part of human sexuality.
Myths and Misconceptions
Asexuality isn't celibacy or abstinence, which are choices. Asexuality is an orientation where sexual attraction is absent or rare.
It's not a medical condition or something that needs fixing. It doesn't occur because someone hasn't found the “right” partner, and it's not limited to people who don't desire romantic relationships.
Relationships and Asexuality
Asexual people can have fulfilling relationships, including sexual ones if they choose. Communication about desires and boundaries is key, just like in any relationship.
Some asexual people and their partners might consider options like open relationships to meet their needs.
Understanding and respecting each other's sexual orientation is crucial for a healthy relationship.
Understanding Asexuality
There's no single cause for asexuality; it's just how some people are. If you're exploring your sexuality and wondering if you might be asexual, consider your feelings towards sexual attraction and what sex means to you. It's okay if your feelings don't fit neatly into one category.
Sharing with Loved Ones
Explaining asexuality to others can start with clarifying that it's an orientation, much like being gay or pansexual.
It's about not feeling sexual attraction, not about lacking the capacity for love or close relationships.
Being open about your asexuality can help you live more authentically, but remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation of your sexual orientation.